Best Sexts Ever

(954):

I want to be inside you. Come over.

(954-1):

I’m on my period.

(954):

Is ok. We can have crazy murder scene sex.

(773):

Let’s create some fireworks of our own tonight.

(773-1):

Sorry. I can’t. I’m going to go see the orgasm display on the waterfront.

(310):

I’m going on my first JDate.

(646):

You inside her yet? Nice and vajewish in there?

(917):

Should I create a database of guys’ cocks that women could then add their notes on, Excel-spread-sheet, social-media style? I could add about 36 I believe. That’s a start. We could call it MyCock.

(646):

The funniest thing about that night, and what makes me laugh out loud every time I think about it — outside of you not confirming me as a friend on FB — was the dick-sucking-in-the cab callback.

(646-1):

You did also lick that British girl’s pussy in the club too so A for effort, I think that does qualify you.

(646):

Yeah as I ate her out I was like, oh my God, he’s totally going to confirm the shit out of my friend request.

(646-1):

And as I was fingering you in the club till you came I was like, I’m totally going to confirm the fuck out of this girl.

(818):

Met super adorable guy in AA last night.

(818-1):

How was that?

(818):

He went down on me like I was a martini.

(603):

I have never been with someone that dom before. Was interesting.

(603-1):

Really? I thought you would have given every little thing a try. Glad I have made even the tiniest impression.

(757):

I would fuck you hard, slut.

(239):

I’m sorry. Your name isn’t coming up in my phone. Bob?

(520):

How would you describe my cock. Please help settle an argument.

(520-1):

Hahahaha. “Spectacular”

(520):

Why is that in quotes? Damn!

(847):

You live super close to me.

(847-1):

You’re so romantic.